i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She bit a glass in half.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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