Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize