So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
