if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
