also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
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Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot