So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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