remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
