she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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