Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
