now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
