It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
