Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
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just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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