beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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