it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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