I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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