i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
