walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize