Hey man sorry I got all grabby
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just found puke in my bra..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
