So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize