no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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