youre lurking in front of me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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