You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
