i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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