It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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