the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.