PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Randomize
