I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
