Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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