I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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