He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
