i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
