I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is Oprah even human
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
