one two three fourrrrnication!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
