i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
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So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize