and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
