Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize