I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
ok first of all what the fuck
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
