Yo dont text me then not text me
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
