Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Its about making memories worth repressing
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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