i think my tv is drunk
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
