Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
