Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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