I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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