Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize