physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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