opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
