Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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