I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
