It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
