I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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