What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back