I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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