I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Do vagina's smell?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.