i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I could make wine with my vomit
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO