Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Call meee

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...

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  (603): Call meee (781): Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now... http://tfl.nu/j06g
  Replies (3) Good night (1803) Bad night (533)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass

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  (406): Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass http://tfl.nu/uf2h
  Replies (20) Good night (2203) Bad night (1326)
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  (909): View more from California

  dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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  (909): dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting. http://tfl.nu/kj58
  Replies (11) Good night (635) Bad night (3510)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous

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  (808): she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous http://tfl.nu/8uf4
  Replies (15) Good night (5637) Bad night (1308)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day

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  (217): I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day http://tfl.nu/8h3x
  Replies (9) Good night (949) Bad night (2083)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.

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  (403): I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress. http://tfl.nu/setw
  Replies (2) Good night (1416) Bad night (612)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.

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  (917): Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep. http://tfl.nu/ccvs
  Replies (5) Good night (1371) Bad night (548)
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  (716): View more from New York

  It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving

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  (716): It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving http://tfl.nu/l18z
  Replies (1) Good night (1246) Bad night (489)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.

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  (541): They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully. http://tfl.nu/5ynt
  Replies (4) Good night (1090) Bad night (518)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom

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  (719): The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/023b
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (1495)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.

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  (518): Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in. http://tfl.nu/0iat
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (510)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie

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  (440): Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie http://tfl.nu/g1ng
  Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Formal letter or email.

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  (647): How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks? (416): Formal letter or email. http://tfl.nu/qlv5
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.

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  (573): I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs. http://tfl.nu/ty2k
  Replies (8) Good night (657) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.

  (646): View more from New York

  You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.

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  (718): Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well. (646): You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response. http://tfl.nu/j3cp
  Replies (2) Good night (395) Bad night (274)

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