You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
