If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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