Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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